Haha, no I meant I myself can’t be asexual. And you’re close - asexual means you lack the urge to engage in sexual activity, but not just with other people. “True” asexuals don’t even get urges to masturbate - though they certainly can. Since I myself enjoy it (when I do), I’m not what you’d call someone who is truly asexual.

When you have someone who doesn’t have the urge to have sexual relations with another person but still enjoys masturbation, I wouldn’t say it’s “wrong” for them to call themselves asexual, because they’re certainly very close. However, as I’ve been told by both my primary physician and gynecologist, if you can still enjoy sexual acts (such as masturbation), you’re not a true asexual. You’re most likely a demisexual who has little to no urges for sexual acts with someone.

When you dissect the word itself, asexual means “without sexuality”. Literally, you would have to have absolutely no sexual drive, even during masturbation. Asexuals can partake in sexual acts, but they’re very different some sexuals; generally, the entire ordeal is mechanical. Asexuals can achieve an orgasm, but it’s generally not something that’s “enjoyed” to the same extent as sexuals who achieve it.

This is just what I’ve been told by my doctors. In the end, what truly matters is what you feel inside, what you want to be identified as, and nobody can tell you otherwise. When it comes to asexuality in particular, the lines between that and demisexuality and full sexuality can become pretty blurred. Everyone has different levels of sexuality, after all; so even if one doesn’t feel like they completely belong in one group, if they still feel that’s how they feel the majority of the time, then I don’t personally find it wrong to label themselves as such.

Because in the end we’re just ourselves and labels don’t really matter. They’re just a way to generalize a portion of our lives when describing ourselves, but in no way mean we always have to fit the entire bill perfectly. Everyone is different!